We had a big talk this morning.

I must say that for now, we’re still talking like adults. But things can escalate very quickly. If I ever lose it then it’s over.

I’m doing my best, but it is hard, really hard.

So basically we came to the same conclusion. We don’t want to break the family. But the situation between us is not good. At least for now. So I would like to think.

We can either part away divorce and she’ll live her life and I’ll live mine. But the kids will suffer from that.

Or we can stay together but not together… for the kids. That is we’re raising them as a ‘normal’ family but there’s nothing between us. I find it so hard, heartbreaking but that would be my ‘preferred’ solution for now. I’ll suffer the most I guess and don’t know how long I can last.

She seems Ok, with any of those choices, at least she seems to be better than me. She told me she has more life experience than me regarding relationship so she’s able to handle better. And she does. I’m much more devastated than her that’s for sure.

Don’t know what to do.