I must be strong

Category: Feelings

  • June 11 – So confused

    Spent the morning with the kids and my wife. Despite the whole situation, we are still keeping a somehow ‘normal’ life, in appearance. It’s kind of a show, where we look ok, but deep down it’s really not. At least I’m really not alright. For the sake of the children, I do my best to…

  • June 10 – Just another draining day

    I have ups and downs. I guess it also goes with the weather. For now the weather hasn’t been very good and since it’s cold and cloudy it does impact my feelings. Besides I’m working from home so there’s even less of a social aspect that could cheer me up a bit. It’s ironic thought,…

  • June 7 – Work social worker

    I am lucky enough to have a social worker I can talk to at work. After previously setting an appointment I had the chance to talk to her via a Teams session. I was looking forward to this meeting as it was the first time I could tell my story to someone ‘face to face’.…

  • June 6 – Time to change

    I am still a mess. I can’t really continue like this. Hence I have been looking around at different resources to help me get back on track. I am lucky enough to have such a program at work that will cover a big portion of the expenses for a psychologist. Besides this, as I have…

  • June 5 – Staying together for the kids

    The kids today have been invited to their friends house. So we’ve been driving them around town and left them at their friends house. It’s one of the few moments we’re alone together. Since our last discussions I am still trying to understand what’s going on and I am still trying to make things right.…

  • June 2nd – Still looking for a psychologist

    So it’s been two weeks now that I’m in this state. I can’t sleep or when I do I wake up every 2 hours because there’s so much going on in my mind. I have never suffered of insomnia in my life and this really does have a huge impact on me. Mentally and physically.…

  • May 29 – Road trip

    Despite the awkwardness that is settling in between us, we’re trying to keep thing relatively normal for the kids. We were planning a road trip to see my mother in law and so off we went. The drive actually went quite smoothly. It was a 2 hour long drive and even though we haven’t clear…

  • May 24 – Feeling destroyed

    My posts are depressing I know, but that’s the state I’m in. I’m completely destroyed. I don’t know what to do, I have lost all motivation. After almost 15 years of marriage, two kids and all of a sudden it’s all gone. That’s harsh.    I am not sure about the motivation under this, but…

  • May 23 – I’m a mess

    It’s been 4 days since our terrible talk and I’m a mess. I have been sleep deprived and this whole situation is taking a big toll on me mentally and physically. My head is spinning and I’m thinking about a lot of things. It’s really hard. Not being able to sleep is hard physically as…

  • May 21st – I’m a zombie

    I’m literally a zombie. Haven’t slept all night since we had our talk. Never have I been in such a bad shape. I am drained mentally, can’t stop thinking about what has happened and because of that I can’t sleep. This in turns affects me physically and we’ll turns me into a zombie. Quite the…